hungover

Have you ever been the person in your group of friends or some situation where you are shaking your head at others because it seemed like they were drinking for every single occasion, even made up ones and times in between? 

Now:  Have you ever been through some situation where all you ever feel like doing is drinking?  And all you can even think of doing is going back to the liquor store, checking the clock to see if its an acceptable time for you to be able to take a drink yet or calling up and hanging out with those friends you used to consider to be annoying drunks?

Yeah, my grandparents have always been alcoholics, so from a very young age I developed a distaste for alcohol and being drunk.  I am still an addict so I did get into some other intense addictions to substances that were just as bad as (if not worse than) alcohol.  I turned 21 and got drunk for like a week and it was whatever to me, nothing exciting.

I'm sure if you agree with me at all, whatever changed your views on alcohol was either heartbreak or the death of a close one.  I have had both of those in the last month and I just realized this morning I probably have a problem now- I am more hungover than I ever remember being, and all I can think of is a breakfast burrito and more alcohol. 

I kind of feel bad for turning up my nose at my family and friends for their drinking habits, because they probably started out just as I am right now:  losing a lover or having to bury a family member or something and just wanting to drown the sorrow for a night, and that felt so good they did it the next night as well, so they just kept doing it over and over again, and now they can't start or end the day without a drink.

I don't want to develop such a serious alcohol problem as that, but I am happy in a weird way that I now understand why some people are the way that they are and they aren't bad because of it.

Sorry this was so idiotic, and if you went through the trouble of reading this I apologize for the major waste of time...

...and bring me a fucking breakfast burrito already, damn it

Caring Parents

Yeah, yeah, I know- I'm still slacking on the writing thing, hopefully you can forgive me.  I do finally have something I'm slightly opinionated about, though, so lets get crackin' so I can give you something to distract your mind for a few minutes.

I am always curious as to why parents find some things in the media and world so offensive, but others they just don't care about.  Katy Perry's boobs on Sesame Street?  If your kid is Sesame Street watching age, they aren't even LOOKING at those things, unless its as a source for nourishment.  Spongebob seeming to be a homosexual?  What's so gay about him? The fact that his home is always clean?  He takes excellent care of his pet?  He has impeccable personal hygiene?  So he may be gay, so what?  He isn't lubing up and takin' it up the ass onscreen.

Aside from TV and movies, why would parents be opposed to their children being addressed by our President while in school?  A couple of weeks ago my 5 year old daughter brought home a form that stated President Obama would be addressing children accross America about the importance of school.  The form wasn't just informative, it was actually something saying you were either giving permission to allow your child to view this speech from the President, OR no, take your child out of class so they would not be a part of it. 

WHY WAS THIS FORM EVEN PRINTED?

When I was in school, I don't remember having to take anything home to my mom asking if she'd like me taken out of class while Bush or Clinton spoke.  What could Obama possibly tell students that would be harmful to them in any way?  Who cares if you don't personally like Obama, why is it necessary to program your children to be the same closed-minded bigot that you are?

If you'd like an example of how idiotic things can be, here in Utah we don't focus much on Sex-Education.  In fact, its repressed to the point of being comical.  I have taken permission-slips home asking parents if its 1) Okay to have their child participate in the class and receive all education, 2) Okay for the child to be in class for the non-sexual portion of the class and NOT learn about safe practices or contraception, or 3) Be taken out of the class completely.  Those choices aren't really relevant anyway, because we only learned the "abstinence" method of birth control.  Quite a few parents had completely opted-out of having their child in the class at all, or had them only do the "wholesome and decent" parts of the class.  Do they even realize what that can do to a kid?  First you're embarrassing the fuck out of your kid because now you've displayed them as the "weirdo with the lame parents."  Then they will be the kids who don't know anything about sex whatsoever, pushing them further into the outcast-region of high school politics.  Most importantly, you are depriving them of information that could be saving you or them from a life-changing situation (STD's, pregnancy, etc).  I got the full class, which wasn't much because like I said- Utah runs its own censorship in the education system  making sex out to be the most filthy act to engage in, but I always wished I had more information on the subject.  I'm not going to put all the blame on this faulty system, because I do take responsibilities for my own actions, but I got pregnant at 16.  Maybe if I had even been allowed to see a fucking condom before then, circumstances may be a little different right now.

I'm not saying to go and start shoving condoms in your kids' backpacks and not monitor what they watch on tv, just adjust your brain to the fact that it is now 2010.  Stop bitching about Tinky-Winky carrying a purse or Obama being black, and start being concerned that something that stupid is the only thing you've focused your parental concern on.

I'm back...

I would apologize to my avid readers for not posting anything new in like MONTHS, but I don’t have any of those.  I don’t think I even have readers really, but to you random-glancers- thanks for stopping by.

 I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching for the last few mon-HAHAHAHA sorry, couldn’t keep a straight face.  No, honestly, I’ve been really lazy.  I’ve been smoking a LOT of weed, getting totally caught up in the twitter addiction and resting up and kind of just not making any time to write anything worth reading, blog-wise.

 If you know anything about me, you are aware of the fact that I have arthritis and fibromyalgia (among many other health/mental problems) and over the summer I’ve gotten some health and energy back, so I’ve really been taking full advantage of that.  Now that fall is settling in and the barometric-pressure is affecting my health again I’m sure that I’ll have nothing but time to write again.

 Yeah, this is a really boring post, I’m surprised you’ve continued reading to this point, so I’ll cut it off here, but I’ll get back to writing shit that may actually be worth reading again soon.

Atheism Quotes

"It appears to me (whether rightly or wrongly) that direct arguments against Christianity and theism produce hardly any effect on the public; and freedom of thought is best promoted by the gradual illumination of men's minds which follows from the advance of science." [Darwin]

"If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities." [Voltaire]

"I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotism." [Einstein]

"Faith means not wanting to know what is true." [Nietzsche]

"I cannot believe in the immortality of the soul.... No, all this talk of an existence for us, as individuals, beyond the grave is wrong. It is born of our tenacity of life – our desire to go on living … our dread of coming to an end." [Edison]

"The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma." [Lincoln]

"Religion is a byproduct of fear. For much of human history, it may have been a necessary evil, but why was it more evil than necessary? Isn't killing people in the name of God a pretty good definition of insanity?" [Arthur C. Clarke]

"Religions are all alike – founded upon fables and mythologies." [Thomas Jefferson]

"Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile." [Kurt Vonnegut]

"Religion is based . . . mainly on fear . . . fear of the mysterious, fear of defeat, fear of death. Fear is the parent of cruelty, and therefore it is no wonder if cruelty and religion have gone hand in hand. . . . My own view on religion is that of Lucretius. I regard it as a disease born of fear and as a source of untold misery to the human race." [Bertrand Russell]

Pessimism Pays Off

Out of all the sayings that are supposed to be enlightening and/or inspirational, I think the stupidest is “It takes more muscles to frown than to smile.” I want to know what lazy fat ass thought this was supposed to be something positive. Are we really so lazy that we are choosing which emotion to express by the amount of effort it takes?

How about take a few extra minutes out of your day to get a couple frowns in, burn a few more calories and you may actually have something to smile about in the end when viewing your new lean facial-physique?

Maybe the pessimists aren’t negative for no particular reason; maybe they are just a little more health conscious.

Just a thought…

Productional Perfection

What is the point of advertising some beauty product using people in ads that look like they don’t actually need the product?  Lately it seems like most of the ads I see, whether they are commercials or printed in magazines, are for cellulite smoothing crèmes and granny panties that are made to hold in protruding guts.  That’s all gravy (or helping the effects of gravy, I should say), but every model I see in them can’t weigh more than 100 pounds, and the only time they’ve really seen cottage cheese is when they are watching it come spewing out as they force it back out of their tight little bodies with one strategically placed finger.

Call me old fashioned, but seeing as these products are made to sucker in middle aged, out of shape housewives that have popped out a few pups, aren’t they the ones we should see in the ads?  Maybe I just don’t get it.  If anything, seeing perfect models using these products makes me want them less, I always think to myself “I’ll get it as soon as I lose 20 lbs and go under the knife for a few procedures.”  They seem more like maintenance or tune up tactics and not miracle solutions.

You really want me to buy your crap?  Don’t put someone fresh off America’s Next Top Model in your commercial; Show me that it can turn Kirstie Alley into a Kardashian, and I might consider it.

Keep It In Your Pants

All the affair and mistress bullshit going on in the media is ridiculous. I already had no faith in humanity, but this just makes me feel a little more justified in feeling that way. Everyone has a “sex-addiction” too, like claiming that makes your behaviors excusable.

Uh no, you’re still disgusting. Tiger, Jesse, all of them.

Other “addictions” don’t get excused; when someone gets arrested for dealing meth they pretty much always get consequences. When someone discovers their weird neighbor has a basement full of kiddie-porn, no judge is letting them off because of some “addiction” defense. Dealing with addiction is hard, yeah, but no matter what you’re addicted to YOU are always responsible for not indulging. Once you do, that is 100% your problem, and you will never have any sympathy from me.

These guys are crying to the cameras, making every excuse possible so they don’t have to admit to anyone (especially themselves) that they are weak individuals that have filthy habits. Its pretty much like when people smoke cigarettes or drink alcohol, yeah there are health problems involved with those addictions and some possible dangers, but for the most part I have no issue with people indulging that way as long as they don’t try to hide it, excuse it or complain about it without trying to change it.

Everyone can go ahead and say what these guys and their publicists are saying “What they do in their own lives is something they need to deal with, and they should be left alone,” sure, that’s great, if they didn’t make life choices to be in the public eye. And after knowing they had celebrity status AND families, they STILL CHOSE poorly.

The thing that irritates me the absolute most is the attitude they have to everyone, like the world owes them something (forgiveness maybe? Who knows?). I saw a clip of an interview with Tiger and he was talking about how difficult it has become for his family, being followed by paparazzi everywhere they go, and that wasn’t fair to them.
 

Hey, jackass, you know what isn’t fair? You know what made life difficult for your family? You whippin your dick out for every ho that looked your way! Yeah I’m pretty sure life wouldn’t be so hard for them if you were just a faithful husband and father. Stop blaming the media, they didn’t screw the strippers and pancake waitresses…

Speaking of people making ridiculous statements, all the mistresses that have come out in these situations:  GO AWAY ALREADY.  None of us would even have to know who you are if you all didn't spread wide for married men.  They keep doing interviews and specials, and some of the shit that comes out of those skanks mouths is insane, asking for sympathy, faking tears, taking the "victim" position.  They make me want to throw up.  You DO NOT deserve any kindness from anyone whatsoever, you should have received a beat down from the families you wrecked... and yes you did wreck them.  You knew they were married and made the choices you made anyway.

It is not that hard to find men who are totally single, I promise.  Whores.

I’m just sick of everyone making excuses for their shitty behaviors. Why can’t anyone take responsibility for their actions? Or better yet: Why the hell can’t anyone just act right?
 

GaGa: Revisited

I should probably post more often, but truthfully I'm lazy, I space it off, I am forgetful. Whatever...

I have decided that my original post regarding Lady GaGa was premature, I won't delete it because it was my personal opinion at the time, but the opinion has changed, so I thought I should probably get an update out there.

I have been swept up into the whirlwind that GaGa has created. I believed I would never be affected by it, but the more I listen to her music and examine her as a person, the more I fall madly in love with her.

I still consider her to be a weirdo, but I think at this point she is finally in her place and will continue in a forward direction. Her attitude towards everything has got to probably be what intrigued me. She is one of the few mega-celebrities out there that actually tells the truth about herself from day one. It just seems every other week different stars are getting caught doing different things or admitting to different things that just shock us all, because they came into fame trying to be a certain public-friendly person. In every interview GaGa does she reveals her own "secrets" and is never ashamed about anything.

I think I was just caught off-guard by her in the beginning and didn't understand her, I am human as well, and what humans don't understand they tend not to like- the misunderstood are the outcasts.

But as silly as she may seem, with all her crazy hairdos and costumes, she is the only one who dares to do it.

She is young and a woman, and believes in things that aren't totally accepted or respected, yet she is taking over the world... I envy and adore her.

3D Epidemic

Just wanted to say real quick: 3D TV from Samsung?? Did I call it or what? Yeah bitches! next from The Good Reverend Kidphonic: Psychic Hotline. Call me now fer yer free psychic readin'.

'Stars' Set Up?

I don’t watch Dancing With The Stars, but I do get updates about it through the various entertainment news updates I follow and watch. Before the first episode aired I heard the line up of the celebrities participating in this new season.

Uh, hello?

Yeah, a few of the ‘stars’ they got to participate are interesting choices, but a couple don’t seem that fair. I thought having Nicole Scherzinger and Evan Lysacek were a little more than obvious as having an advantage in this particular contest. A chick from a girl music group who has dealt with music video and live performance choreography, and a dude who is an Olympic figure skater? Doesn’t seem all that fair to me, but what the hell do I know?

Oh, and the last update I viewed was saying that the very first episode left those exact two in the first and second places in the contest.

So surprised…

It seems that the entertainment draw of that show would be selecting stars that are famous for something very different than being someone who performs on a professional level in dancing or ice skating on a regular basis.

But I may just be talking out my ass because I don’t run the show, I don’t even watch it. I’ll just keep getting my updates here and there, and if (and when) either Scherzinger or Lysacek win this competition I’ll sit back in non-surprise, rolling my eyes.

Jesse James: A 'Stupid' Man...

I hate to be yet another person commenting on the subject, but my God what was Jesse James thinking??? So many people keep talking about Sandra Bullock not being his type, not having tattoos and looking like a pin up. She is a classy lady yes, but she is also a hard core bad ass woman.

The “other woman” in the incident isn’t even an exceptional beauty; she doesn’t seem to have a lot to offer other than a pair of open legs. Here Jesse is, married to a very devoted woman, beautiful, talented, and very loving, and she is making her way to the top of the world. Why throw that all in the trash for, well, trash?

Not only that, the more I learn about Sandra the more I’ve realized she is considerate and accepting of everyone equally. The work she has done with and for minorities is astounding. Off the top of your head, how many successful, wealthy influential white women can you name that put themselves really out there for the Latino-community? Yeah, stumped huh?

Relating to that exactly, how could you go to being married to a woman like that to one who has supposedly been photographed wearing clothing of a Nazi-nature and showing off tattoos related to the same subject?

To me, that is the equivalent of going from turning down a perfectly juicy steak from an upscale restaurant for a cheap fast food chain burger… that has been sitting under the heat-lamps for a few hours… and someone dropped it on the floor but decided to serve it anyway.

Its frustrating to think about and I will NEVER understand it. All I can really say is Sandra, my heart goes out to you, and Jesse: EPIC FAIL

Rushing Rush

I heard something the other day that made me crack a smile- Rush Limbaugh claiming he’d move to Costa Rica if the new Health Care Reform was passed.

Can I scream “WOO HOO” loud enough?? No, I cannot.

But we’re all familiar with the self-righteous loud mouth and his outrageous claims. I was thrilled to hear that claim, but Rush was getting his hopes up and really assumed the bill wouldn’t be passed when he was making his claims of moving out of the country.

I’m not so naïve, nor do I make silly fake plans based on my uneducated beliefs.

Knowing the way things usually play out with him, who knows if he was really against it all because he didn’t like what the reform itself would bring, or if it was just because he didn’t like the race or religion of the person presenting it.

The funniest part about the entire thing is his still being up on his pedestal. After being a loud-mouthed over-opinionated offensive individual who just berates undeserving people, who exactly does he think is taking the time to give a flying fuck about his (hopefully) making a permanent move to another country? The most logical theory I’ve come up with on this subject is “Loud-Mouth” Limbaugh caught rumor of prescription pills being cheaper and easier to obtain in Costa Rica, and he’s just using the Health Bill as an excuse to get out there to them ASAP.

I want to hear the amazing reasoning and wordplay that is used to fix this flub, how it is played out to say “he didn’t say that exactly,” or it was” taken out of context,” because at the end of the day Rush can’t leave America. Who would he bitch to? Who would he talk shit to? Nobody else would take his abuse, and someone elsewhere might actually put him in his place for mouthing off.

OH MY GOD there are so many reasons he should leave the country. For once could he stay true to his word? Could he make one other person in this world happy OTHER than his own selfish self? Sadly, I doubt it will ever happen, but a girl can dream.

Commercialization

Lately I’ve been seeing some pretty interesting commercials. I know the point of commercials- to catch the attention of a select group of people to advertise some product or service, usually for sales. However, some commercials are kind of ridiculous in their presentation (in my personal opinion).

For example: Play Doh commercials

I’ve seen several commercials advertising this great little carpet-ruining tub of fun recently, (maybe it hasn’t been several, its probably been the same commercial but they all look the same to me) where the newest fun with the Play Doh was food-themed. Ice cream with sprinkles and decoration, burgers with all the fixins’ including pickles, all those great things and such. After seeing kids playing and laughing and putting together all these tasty-looking little Doh morsels of delight, putting them all nicely on a plate with great culinary presentation, they must end the commercial itself with a voice saying, “Play Doh, fun to play with, not to eat!”

Uh, this particular play-thing has an age recommendation of ages 2 years and up. Have they ever even seen a two year old child play? The majority of what they do when playing is place things in their mouths. Hell, I was 9 and my mom told me she’d give me a dollar if I ate a marble-sized chunk of Play Doh (easiest dollar I ever made). With that being said, with the starting age being two to play with Play Doh, it being made to look a lot like food and possibly parents making stupid barters with their kids, the “suggestion” at the end of the commercial probably isn’t enough. OR we could just stop making things we SHOULDN’T eat look like things we LOVE to eat… hmmm?

As long as we’re on the subject of commercials I don’t like…

Love Stride Gum, their ad gimmick, not so much. I pretty much don’t like to be told what to do, especially by people I don’t know. And while enjoying a piece of refreshing gum I don’t really have the desire to feel threatened. Their ads basically tell people to “Spit it out and chew a new piece already or we’ll find you.” Yeah, how about stay out of my damn breath-freshening business, thank you very much. I will chew it if, when, and how I want, and I don’t appreciate you being all up in my TV telling me how to be livin’ my life (or chewing my gum rather).

Now you got me goin, I’m gonna go get myself a Play Doh hot dog and freshen up afterward with a piece of gum...

A Jesse by Any Other Name...

So over the years I have realized that Latino men named “Jesus” (HEH-soos) that venture to The States decide to go by “Jesse.” Well, the majority of them do, for whatever personal reasons, its easier for Americans to remember or pronounce or whatever, or to appease Christian Americans.

I personally think its silly if you actually like your name. This goes for ALL people that immigrate here, it makes me sad when people just kind of throw away their past, their history, their heritage by just adopting an “American” version of their name, or just choose a new name.

I won’t get too into that, because that isn’t even my subject, I could go on and on about that. And I probably have no room to talk, I am dying to change my name.

I’ll switch gears, because I’m not in a serious mood…

So, back to the original thought, about Latino men named “Jesus” that end up going by “Jesse,” it just got me thinking- way back in the day when Jesus was around and people called him Jesus, were there maybe times that he was just like “Oh, you can call me Jesse,” ? What about when people started realizing who he was, if anyone were to kneel before him and called out “Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior” there may have been a time or two when he corrected their formality with “Hey, my Father is the Lord, you can call me Jesus… Well, Jesse…” Right?

Just a thought.

Isn't Life Already 3-Dimensional?

Can anyone give me an answer to this: What is the new obsession with 3D/Real D movies? And it can’t be “It rakes in more money.” It seems like everything and anything coming out lately has extra special effects to it.

I wonder to myself, is society so desensitized to excitement that this is the new method to battle people’s lack of enthusiasm for movies? Its probably because movie sales are tanking because downloading pirated copies is so much easier and cheaper, and you can’t illegally download awesome Real D effects to watch at home. It could also be the original statement I made, to make the already insane ticket prices at the box office that much more expensive. Its all related, one of those cycles I suppose.

No matter what the reason is, it makes me feel so old fashioned, or basically just old for that matter. I like my movies 2D for a couple reasons- I don’t like wearing those stupid glasses because they give me a headache, I hate feeling like my bank account is drained for 2 hours of entertainment, and I am not so simple-minded that I can’t enjoy a movie the normal way. Fucking lazy asses, movies are simple enjoyment enough, we can’t even pick up a damn book anymore because its too much effort, and imaginative brain power is too diminished to get through it. Now we have to go to lengths to further movie production to make the movie more “real” so we can have even less imagination, and if possible put forth less effort to watch a movie...

Aside from that frustration, I want to get into the 3D/Real D subject a little deeper.

I know that they have special screens or whatever to give that effect in the theaters and its never the same when you get the DVD with the crappy little red and blue celophane-lensed glasses. However, I know that there’s always technology out that us poor folk isn’t aware of, so I’m sure there’s rich folk out there privileged enough to have a special TV or projector or something to give the same Real D effect we pay out the ass for in the theater.

What I am really wanting to know is when is that going to be available to the rest of us so we can get porn-production into that? If people really want to make some serious money, that is what needs to be marketed (and I want my cut when it happens)! Who doesn’t wanna be balls-deep into a good porn and suddenly feel like the sweaty porn stars are right there with them? Could you imagine the intensity of nipple and penile-erections with that technology power? And cum-shots would be a serious climactic ending, not just because someone is having an orgasm, but because you’d actually feel like you had to dodge the damn thing.

But seriously, 3D/Real D is out of control. I just want to have comfort in watching commercials advertising movies again. Nowadays I watch a commercial, get overly excited for a movie that looks amazing, then at the end its announced “In 3D” and I say “Oh shit,” because I’m just calculating the money pouring out of my wallet.

Give me movies the old way, flat, 2-Dimensional and cheap, or give me my own Real D technology for my home, along with a few good porn vids adapted for it all.

Brown Down For Woods

It recently came to my attention that Chris Brown had an opinion about the whole ‘Tiger Woods’ media domination story, which of course I have an opinion about myself. I had an opinion over just the Tiger portion of it, and back when it happened a separate opinion of the Chris Brown part, but it miraculously mixing into one subject through the mouth of Mr. Brown is wonderful.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, it all starts with Chris getting his charges for letting his fists do his talking during an argument, then this amount of time later Tiger got his mess with the cheating and marital issues, and America is still reeling from 2 of the most seemingly wholesome guys doing what we never even considered they would do. What topped the cake is Chris opening his mouth about it like someone wanted his opinion… Uh, it seems whether his fists or mouth does the communicating, it doesn’t turn out well.

If you’re still confused, I apologize for my erratic, coffee-fueled attempt at writing.

What I am getting to is what Chris Brown said, which is this:
“I think people always deserve a second chance,” Brown stated. “Whatever (Tiger’s) personal life is — and I think this goes for me and him — his personal life is his personal life. Nobody has the right to place judgment or make any judgment on somebody else's personal life when they’re not directly involved with them.”*

Comment, Tiger? Yeah, there isn’t one…

First, what the two men are facing problems with are two completely different things. Physically harming someone in a fit of rage is one thing, sleeping around is another, and I am embarrassed by Chris attempting to group the incidents.

Personal thought about Brown’s interview quote: With the charges and legal issues he has come up against, he should definitely be focusing on his own problems. Just because another famous face has encountered some problems of their own does NOT mean you get to drag that person down to where you are. Woods was making no attempts to save your ass, and he hasn’t made you his side kick yet either. Just because someone else is in the shit house, it doesn’t mean we’re forgetting what you did or lightening our opinion of it. And believe me, this didn’t change anyone’s opinion of you or make you our beloved again, not even Tiger.

Some advice in closing… er… Don’t hit your girlfriend. Don’t cheat on your wife. If you cheat on your wife you’ll have the embarrassment of getting a pat on the back and defense from someone who hit their girlfriend.

*Quote source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35569873/ns/entertainment-gossip/

The Toilet Paper Diaries

Answer me this: Why am I subjected to commercials about whether toilet paper rolls should be placed on the actual roll going over or under? Are we as humans that bored with our existence that the most thrilling discussion we can come up with lately is should the roll go over or under?

To be honest, when I do change the roll I don't pay attention to whether I put it over or under, and if you'd like even more honesty: most of the time I am lazy like most others and don't even change the roll out. I leave the empty cardboard tube hanging there on the roll and just set the new roll on the counter or the back of the toilet or something, and I'll leave it that way for weeks.

I'm fairly sure that anyone that anal about toilet paper etiquette (pardon the pun) is sure to have some problems. But I have come to realize that these are the problems concerning the world today- what brand of TP? What ply? Should I get the huge rolls with the roll-extender? Scented or unscented? Over or under???

Really...

Everyone involved with the "over or under" mania, take your damn roll, put it on the roller in the manner you see fit and shut the hell up, because in the end, no matter haw fancy it is or what direction its facing, its all going into some shitty places! bahahaha...

Flush...

Celebrification...

The biggest complaint I hear from most people against celebrities is about them complaining about the ‘famous life.’ Yeah, I understand it as well; we all just want to choke them as they are driving down Rodeo Drive in their pimped out ride, wearing their D&G sunglasses, after getting their $400 haircut and they think we want to hear them cry and moan about how the fame and glory is just too much to handle and if they could trade all they have for a “normal life” to blend in with the rest of us faceless nothings, they totally would…

Uh, fucking GAG me…

Yeah boo-fuckin-hoo- you’re trying to get out, we’re all trying to get in to that spot God damn it.

Anyway…

Aside from that being everyone’s main complaint, my main complaint is a little different. I can pretty much tolerate every little billionaire heiress boobing about how their life is just so hard, what I really cannot handle is the wannabe famous B and C List stars thinking they are more famous than they really are, and also telling us all about their problems.

If you are still clueless after I just said all that, I envy you because you haven’t been subjected to it, or you’re probably just not as much of a TV junkie as me.

For the rest of us, that statement screams Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. As much as I wish they would go back to the factory and get re-melted down for parts, they are just like a fucking train wreck--- I cannot peel my little eyes away. Both of you: Get a fucking clue, the whole world doesn’t love you, neither of you are exceptionally beautiful or talented, yet you both walk around batting away the imaginary paparazzi that are just figments of your imaginations. I honestly didn’t know it was possible for two completely separate people to have the exact same delusion or hallucination at the same time, that has got to me some medical or scientific phenomenon or something…

The most recent thing going on with them of course is Heidi’s plastic surgery overhaul. Does anyone really care that she hated herself so much beforehand that she felt it necessary to get the surgeries? For the most part, no- most of us were basically not all that surprised by it. And although she can (and will) keep getting those surgeries, she, nor her husband, will ever understand that you cannot change the inside by changing the outside… Especially if you started out as a lifeless mannequin with no personality whatsoever...

The best part about the whole thing is Heidi’s supposed complaint about Spencer not having sex with her because she wants to get pregnant, and he doesn’t want that to happen. I want to know why her solution is to go and spend ridiculous amounts of money to alter her body. That is absurd for a couple key reasons. The first one is she JUST spent all that crazy money on all those modifications, does she not know that pregnancy basically wrecks your body from the inside out, even the parts you’ve paid for? Mother Nature is not going to just skip you over and say “Oh Heidi my dear, I don’t want to ruin all the work your doctor has done!” There is no fairy dust to keep from having your body change from something as major as bearing a child.

The second big reason that now being pregnant would be bad is you’ve got to realize that whatever children you naturally produce are going to look like the pre-surgery you, your personal alterations don’t alter your genes and DNA. If you hated the natural you and your kids come out looking like that, are you going to resent them in any way because they remind you of what you didn’t like about yourself? Or when they get old enough will you encourage them to get surgery themselves so they can have the bad self image you have?

Oh wait, I have another reason they shouldn’t reproduce: Its Spencer and Heidi... That is reason enough.
This close-to novel length entry should be enough on this subject, so in ending I just want to say: All you real celebrities, suck it up and quit bitching about how rough your cushy little lives are, or live to your words- go (back) to a life where nobody knows who you are, in your fashions from the Walmart clearance racks, working 2 full time jobs paying minimum wage, still living paycheck to paycheck, living in a studio apartment… after you make that transition, THEN let me know really “how terrible and hard” your lovely star lifestyle is.

As for Heidi and Spencer: Just GO AWAY.

grammy-whammy...

I am going to go ahead and assume that everyone is familiar with Lady Gaga's insane fashion sense.  What she does is so beyond me, I feel old thinking about how ridiculous she is.  Well that pretty much goes for any famous people that go beyond the goal of wanting to be a fashion icon trendsetter and just go total balls out and become trendsetters in the architectural world.

I really wish that Gaga wasn't a great singer and actually really talented, because I want to hate her.  Well, not necessarily, I want for her to be one thing or the other- a whore with no talent so I can ignore her, or growing up a bit and using the talent she has to be a little more mature and tasteful so I can like her and not have to feel like I am setting a bad example for my kid.  I hate what kind of examples she is setting for young women of today, I hate that she feels its necessary for her to try too hard with the clothes and hair and makeup, I hate that she thinks being extraordinarily whorish and graphic is necessary for her image.  But dammit, that girl can sing and she can make a hit.

Gaga, seriously, you are not fooling anyone AT ALL with your lack of expression- we all know that when you wear the stupid shit you do that you are as uncomfortable in it as we are looking at it.

All of this is not to say that she doesn't have talent, but in most cases people really have to exhibit talent THEN become famous, THEN kind of get away with wearing stupid shit.  Gaga started with stupid outfits and makeup to make us all go 'what the hell is wrong with this girl?' then she put some songs out there kind of showing some talent, then did some interviews telling the world that she will keep her legs eternally open for us all, and after all the shock and awe that is the point when she decided to show us she actually can sing.

Sorry I am so old fashioned I want my celebrities to show me why I should love them FIRST then show me why I should hate them a year or two later.

I don't hate her, I want so badly for her to chill out and show that she is a real person so I can like her like the rest of you, but while the rest of the world is in a Gaga hypnotic haze, I look and see a chick my age that tries way too hard and in most cases ends up looking like a drag queen.  I am sure there is a pretty young lady under the pound of makeup, the bag of glitter, the fake lashes, the wig-like hair and the silly costumes.  Just allow me once to see that, and by all means continue the silly exhibition.

I am seriuosly waiting for the day that she is finally too old to do this (i.e. Madonna) but still tries, and is forced into showing us all that there is a person under there, and she is hopefully not some personality-less robot (like Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift, girls, be more than a pretty face!).

I'm waiting for you Lady Gaga

shorty, I can take you there...

I'm sure basically everyone has heard the popular Sean Kingston song I Can Take You There.  Its a fun loving melody the whole family can enjoy, but the lyrics pose a contradiction.  At one point he is offering a beautiful girl a trip of a life time to the tropics to enjoy fruity drinks and have a great time, not having a care in the world.  The next lines go on to say that if the tropical paradise doesn't suffice, then he would gladly take the girl to the worst parts of town where you are likely to get mugged or harmed, you can see 'killers get hung' and if not to those extremes, you are more than likely to see crime stricken neighborhoods and people who are struggling, suffering through hardships and poverty to make it.

Wow, that is a TOUGH choice... I don't even know what I would choose in that situation.  Good thing Sean Kingston hasn't asked me out or my brain might explode from the effort of the decision making process.

Surely I jest.

I would possibly vacation in a place like that, but not to the extent that he is describing.  It would sicken me to be in said 'slums' and flaunting my money and comforts of a cushy life (not that I have a wealthy or cushy life by any means).

Which brings me to my point (yes, a long, roundabout way of getting to the point, but the preface was good), I read an article today stating that a Royal Caribbean Cruise Line Ship made the decision to have a quick stop over in Haiti.  The stop, had it happened a couple of weeks ago, would have been far from news-worthy, but after the disastrous earthquake, this was shocking.  Reports say the ship also delivered relief supplies, which is admirable, but they went beyond that by trying to keep the cruise stop like any other, advertising that passengers can spend their time "shopping for trinkets at a craft market" while armed guards stand at the entry to the complex to guarantee their safety.*

In what world is it okay to go to an area that is still reeling from the destruction of a natural disaster?  How is it that anyone could comfortably venture out sight seeing, enjoying exotic cocktails and sampling the local delicacies, while only miles away, tens of thousands of bodies are being piled in the streets, and actual survivors of the disaster are on a constant hunt for food and water to try and remain a 'survivor' and not become a number among the body piles.

Hopefully in the future the Cruise Lines will thoroughly think out their routes and stops.  If it is in the cards that they aid a suffering country, perhaps they will do just that and move on immediately after, not selfishly making it seem like they are encouraging people to flaunt comfort in the faces of those riddled in despair.  I am more than positive many passengers would be okay with the quick, charitable stop.

*Thanks for the information provided by Yahoo! News

make me bleed, don't make me cry

Just because you didn't hit me
Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt

I have no cuts or bruises
But this feels so much worse

I'll gladly take a punch
In exchange for the warmth of your smile

If you look at me like you love me
I'll throw myself down on the tile

Just put your arms around me
I don't care if they squeeze my neck

As long as you're always mine
You can turn my face into a wreck

I'd rather shed my blood
Then shed one more damn tear

You always say you love me
But hate is all your eyes let me hear

I can take the cuts and bruises
I know these will always heal

But my broken heart screams at you

That is all I feel...

a sheep is a sheep is a slut

what i really don't understand is people who act a certain way then get pissed when you tell them they act that way.

if you don't want people to call you something, don't be it...

how many girls do you know that act like complete sluts then get mad when they are called a slut? i know too many. this one is the absolute biggest annoyance. girls: stop being sluts, cheaters and boyfriend stealers if you don't want to be called that. it makes absolutely no sense for you to be pissed. if you go out of your way to make out with someone when you know they have a girlfriend, if you sleep around with different people all the time, if you get drunk and lose all your clothes, if you have a boyfriend or a husband and you even kiss someone who isn't him- YOU ARE A WHORE. the funny thing is you already know it. its when someone says it out loud to you or when someone says it to someone else or whatever you get all upset at that person... um, what the fuck did you think would happen? everyone was just gonna laugh when you acted slutty and would forget it the next day?

all you sluts, there is no shame in being a slut IF YOU ADMIT YOU ARE. a slut in denial is the saddest thing.

everyone start being real, please, for God's sakes...

and i don't need any messages saying i need to be true to myself about being a bitch, i am more than aware of that fact...

excuse moi?

I have a request of all the self-proclaimed comedians of the world:  PLEASE DO NOT DO ACCENTS UNLESS YOU REALLY CAN DO THEM.

You know that one guy at work, or that chick you used to know in high school (or whoever they are to you) that always seem to insist on imitating others, quoting movies and doing accents, but they SUCK at it?  Yeah, aren't they annoying?  They try to impersonate Christopher Walken but end up sounding like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, or they are telling a joke about Italians and sound like a Mexican.  They've GOT to know how bad they sound.

If anyone is laughing along to your stand up routine, they don't think you are funny, they are laughing because they can't believe how stupid you are making yourself look... I promise...

I've experienced trying to tell people like this that they suck at the impersonation game and they are always so in denial.  Its really not a big freakin deal, get over the fact that you can't sound like you're Irish and just use your normal accent, nobody is gonna care.  In fact they may even be happier that you stopped using the stupid accent.

Leave all the mimicking up to Frank Caliendo, he gets paid to do it, YOU DON'T.

somebody think about the children!

some of the parents out there make me sick.. you know who you are too- the ones that think that just because they don't beat their kids or do drugs or whatever they think that they are good parents....

all i was hearing like a week before halloween was "ugh i don't get to do anything for halloween because i'll have my kid" sort of bull shit, and there are still some of you whiney asses bitching about it, talkin about how your halloween sucked ass because you didn't have a sitter.

holidays are first and foremost about family, ESPECIALLY halloween- halloween is a KIDS holiday, so if you have kids you ought to be making sure that your kid is having a great halloween so they can have some good memories of it.

I keep hearing about other people talking about "i wonder if i can get a sitter for xmas and new years so i can go to a rave..." are you fuckin serious? you'd rather abandon your family during the winter holiday season to go party with a bunch of other lames?

that is going to be great when your kids grow up and hate halloween and xmas because you ruined it for them. when they grow up and don't even want to celebrate it with your grandkids because the only memories they have of the holidays they SHOULD HAVE loved is you rushing them off to the damn sitter and being gone then coming home, stumbling in the door smelling like puke and cigarettes and alcohol. then the next day when they want to spend time with you, you're too tired or hung over or whatever.

you make me sick. quit being so damn selfish and go spend a holiday with your damn kids.

same with freakin new years, if you wanted to be a party animal forever you should have worn a rubber...

the backward niceties of religious freaks

I believe anyone that lives in a community with a strong religious predominance understands how I feel. Living in a place where I don't belong to the religion is an experience... Especially when its Mormons I am surrounded by. I will state first that Mormons from places other than Utah are pretty normal, its living in Utah that seems to twist people.

My theory is if you're a super nice and peppy person, be that. If you're a bitch then be that. Don't be super nice and peppy only when you think it may streamline your path to Heaven or when you believe other people in your religious community may see you, then be a completely bipolar psychotic bitch when no one else is around.

I don't even want to try to get into examples, there's too many too list. Everyone needs to get the point that if you are religious, you believe in God and you want to follow your religion, um you must believe that God is watching you at ALL TIMES. You probably ought to start acting like a decent human being always, and not just when you feel its necessary to keep up your fake persona, especially if you try to shove your religious beliefs down my throat. Why the hell would I want to join your Church if all I see from it is very forced and faked niceness from people trying desperately to cling to the notion that Heaven is waiting for your arrival if you just bake your neighbors some brownies once. And really why the hell would I join if after you drop your plastic smile you tell me how every aspect of my life is wrong, you don't approve of me and you go out of your way to be extraordinarily rude to me.

Even if I forgot everything I ever knew and suddenly decided to join a religion or some other life-ruling organization, it wouldn't be one involving people like that.

(melodiously) always and forever... me

Starting out for the first time, as you may see. Not familiar with this whole "blog" thing, but I guess its time to jump on the bandwagon. On top of it all people won't stop telling me to put my thoughts somewhere other than their ears, which is okay with me, my keyboard listens better than anyone I know.

That's not in a matter to say that I'm one of those emotionally overwhelmed girls that just have to express my feelings to feel any kind of release, I just really like talking and giving my opinion, but so does everyone else. This is the only way to selfishly take all the time I want in getting my words out there without being interrupted.

I'm not full of myself, I'm just honest. I can honestly say I am different (just like the rest of you). I don't like to feed people full of bullshit, I won't like what you like so you'll like me, I'm not fake... I'm just me. And just like you I like to be listened to.

So this may possibly be the worst first blog ever, but to stay on the honest-tip, I seriously don't know what I'm doing. I'll get better when I find my niche, and maybe I'll start getting more people to listen to me...